It's hard to mingle at a networking event – it's even harder to get solid leads and contacts. So how do wilting wallflowers become successful social butterflies, picking up plenty of leads and business cards? Kurt Jacobs finds out.
Set goals
The best networkers begin preparing long before the glad-handing begins. Try getting hold of the delegate or guest list beforehand and identify key individuals you want to meet. Then do some research: find out as much about your targets as possible. What posts have they been advertising in the recent past? What markets are they operating in which might give you an edge? What do their corporate websites say? Find out personal details by tracking down their pages on Facebook and Twitter.
Nick Terry who owns Midlands events company Top Banana, says: "There was one contact I wanted to impress. I found her Facebook page where she called herself a 'rock chick'. I dropped that into the conversation and she stepped back in surprise – but it worked to start a relationship, and I now use it every time we converse by email".
Set yourself a target on how many new people you want to meet and how many existing acquaintances you want to renew. Some seasoned sales people deliberately put pressure on themselves by telling colleagues and partners in advance how many contacts they intend to make.
Work out the dress code in advance: media creatives meeting in a winebar are likely to be dressed casually, while lawyers in an expensive hotel will probably be in business dress. If in doubt, phone the organisers or go slightly over-dressed – you can always claim you have just dashed from the office.
It pays to arrive early
While it may feel easier to walk into a crowded room it is better to arrive at a networking event at the start. In a relatively empty room, individuals are more likely to talk to each other, while a good host will go out of his way to greet you and make you feel included. In a crowded room the host may not realise you have arrived and tight-knit groups will have started to form, making it harder to break into conversations.
If nothing else, a prompt arrival will ensure the undying gratitude of the organiser, who will have been on tenterhooks wondering whether people will turn up.
Hunting alone
Many sales people turn up at networking events with a gaggle of colleagues, preferring to talk shop. Serious networkers, however, hunt alone rather than in packs.
"It takes courage to break into a group you've never met before," says Matt Jones of Yorkshire events company Dine Services. "But you're there to make contacts, and however uncomfortable that feels standing by yourself at the sides of a room is even worse. You have to make yourself mingle, and with practice it becomes easier."
Terry suggests a good ploy is to hang around the drinks and canapés because that is where other lone networkers often stand, and it allows you to start a conversation by offering to pour a drink.
He adds: "The hardest part is getting that first conversation going: once you've broken the ice it gets easier to meet other people – you already look connected and sociable.
"The way to get a conversation flowing is to open it and then quickly switch the subject to the person you're talking with – people love nattering about themselves. I often start with 'I'm Nick' and a few moments later ask 'what's keeping you awake at night?' Instantly you've got them telling you about their job and their personal take on it."
Jones adds: "There's nothing wrong with a little white lie to help the conversation start. I was speaking to one person who was into the arts and who asked how often I went to the theatre. The theatre's not my idea of good night out, but a friend of mine had been to a show and I used that experience to get the conversation flowing."
Study body language
It takes courage to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but breaking into a circle of them is even more daunting. Before diving in, study the body language: two people in close animated conversation will not welcome an outsider butting in. However a loose circle might be welcome to a new member, particularly if some have crossed arms or are looking around distractedly – they may appreciate you injecting life into the discussion.
Stop selling
Hard as it is for many sales professionals to turn off their commercial instincts, networking dos are not occasions to flog themselves and recite their CV - many people resent blatant pitches during what they see as social events.
Maintaining a 'what's in it for me?' attitude will limit possibilities. Instead talk to everyone, even if there is no immediate prospect of a lead you can still make valuable contacts or glean information.
Jones says: "What you're looking for is the opportunity to set up a meeting. It's about developing relationships and establishing credibility, otherwise you're still a stranger, and why should they do business with a stranger?"
The day after, follow up promises of meetings by phone, and email anyone you have met – however fleetingly – not with a sales pitch but with a "nice to have met you, hope we can work together someday" message.
Finally...
Never leave the office without your business cards: no one will ever hire a salesperson forced to write their contact details on the back of a beermat.
